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Today, I don't want to help, I just want to spew!

Laura14 started this conversation
How will I pay my rent? You know what, I don't know, but I know it will be paid, because the Lord doesn't fail me, ever! And if it's not, then he has another plan for me.

I am trying my best to take our hardships as they come, though it's not easy.

This has been one heck of a year.

Not sure , what happened first.

My dog died, after 10years by my side, my best friend, my confidant, my everyday companion. I cried for a month.

Then I was laid off from my job, I loved my job, I felt betrayed, for reasons I won't go into. I cried for 2 weeks.

My elderly mom became very ill and started accusing everyone of trying to kill her and take her money (she doesn't have any money) , she said I poisoned her, she said many things. She is taken care of by my father who has been by her side for 50 years. My father, instead of getting her help, has decided, to go with what she wants. He has ostracized the whole family. I am not allowed to call, my only contact, to make sure they are ok is adult social services, and they pretty much suck. My mother has refused medical care, even if they come to the house, my father is 72 years old, I hope he can handle it. I Love them so much, and it hurts so much. I still cry almost everyday, I have lost them, and I miss them, we were very close once. I can barely go to the store (we use the same one) or I get upset.
Then theres the little thing of, my 20 year old son, who lost his job, just before mom lost her mind. He was living with her, and they kicked him out. So he is home, with no job, and no vehicle , as it got repo'd . I love having him home, and my other 2 boys all together. But financially it's hard.

It was pretty hard, NOW IT'S GONNA BE SURPRISING WHEN EVERYTHING GETS PAID. Because my husband, has had to quit his job for medical reasons. He will have to file for disability. I do have a temp job starting tomorrow , I hope that goes ok, and it might be just in time to pay the rent.

I am not sure , what God has in store for me, but I love him, and I have faith! He always comes through for me and my family. There is a reason for it all!!
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wow that was a long time ago. been going through hard times forever it seems, haven't talked to my parents since before this post, though I drive by their house sometimes and try to catch a glimpse. My husband finally got his disability and I have been working at the same job for a year and half now. We still struggle everyday, I have lost my relationship with God, and I am trying to get it back. I guess I just got tired of all the sadness, and my faith faded. Lord I pray you put the LOVE back in my heart and remove the bitterness. Fill me up with your love and control my foul mouth, and thoughts. I want to be whole again!
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